Throughout my life, Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. While at its surface, Halloween my seem like a holiday for young children, Halloween is a holiday that evolves as you mature. Let’s take a deep dive into how your Halloween experience evolves throughout your life.
0-2 years old–
You don’t remember these years, because during this time you were basically a prop. This was an opportunity for your parents to dress you up in an adorable costume and parade you around to the neighbors and not only get to revel in your cuteness but possibly be rewarded for their procreation with a fun-sized Twix. To be fair, they wiped your butt a lot during this time, the least you can do is assist them in obtaining some sugary swag.
3-6 years old—
These are the magical years of Halloween. First off, you become fully cognizant of the social contract that exists. You understand that all that is required is to walk up to a door, knock, spit out a simple phrase and some sort of delicious sugary confection shall be bestowed upon you. Also, your outfit is not just a costume, it is a persona. You’re not just dressing up as Batman, for those few hours, YOU ARE BATMAN.
7-12 years old –
These are of the most important times during your Trick-or-Treating career. These critical years are all about candy volume and efficiency. You’ve preplanned your route. You know which houses give out full-sized candy bars and which ones are giving out toothbrushes. You’ve made sure your parents are properly caffeinated so they can keep up, and if they can’t…well… they know the score.